I did not grow up in a church or with a religious family. Even when I went to church, I was not into the sermon nor did I understand what they were preaching about. I played a lot in church and I did not take it seriously. Sometimes I wished that my mother stressed the importance of prayer and learning His word, but she left it up to me to decide what I wanted to do.

For a long time, I was mad at God. I felt like God was not there for me and that what everyone says He does, He did not do for me. I have never had a relationship with God. It has been a struggle for me to believe in Him, for me to have faith in Him, and for me to trust that He has my best interest in my heart. I have tried to get back into the church while I was in college. A lot of my friends are heavy in Christ and I am able to lean on them whenever I am feeling lost. I always felt like it was weird to praise Him, to bring Him up in conversations, to pray, and to cite His verses to others… but this is all because it was not done to me. It was unfamiliar to me. He was foreign to me.

I am not on the path to learning more about Him. Praying more and giving Him thanks. I am devoted to learning about His sacrifices and all the great things He has done. I am no longer ashamed to speak His name. I am not as consistent as I would like to be, but I am putting forth a conscious effort to know Him. To know that He loves me unconditionally, and to learn that I can trust and have faith in Him.